February 20, 2011
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These happy golden years
I’ve always been one to live in the moment. I remember thinking in College, hard as it was, that I would look back on those days as some of the happiest in my life. But now that I have a family, I know that these, too, are the happiest days of my life. It’s as if there is a ghost of me, an older self wisely prodding me to take another look around and enjoy these precious fleeting moments. Someday, I will be sitting in a quiet home, my children grown and my house so clean and so empty looking back on these days. I wish it could last forever. I know that I will look back longingly, wishing for just one more day with these precious little boys, one more hug from those little arms; one more kiss on those baby cheeks. The thought of them growing up and going away is a sobering one. A thought that makes me leave the dishes in the sink and get down in the dirt to play with my boys. I want to redeem every precious moment, savory every detail. I am content to see my fireplace hearth covered in cars and trucks; I’m happy to trip over army men and teddy bears. I know that all too soon, these toys will be cleared away and my heart will ache for the noise and chaos of these happy golden years. I don’t want to miss out on the joy of this time by being caught up in the chaos. I don’t want to have any regrets. I want to know that I lived it to the fullest and that I spent every moment possible with my dear, precious children.