July 21, 2011
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The poo
It all started with a shortage of diapers. Which subsequently turned into a impulsive decision to potty train. (Jackson…not Miriam) A few days into this and things were going well. I was beginning to feel pretty proud of myself and my totally sweet parenting abilities. Then Wednesday happened.
I knew he needed to poop. How I knew this is maybe a little too much information. Suffice it to say, there were external signs of his readiness…noises and fragrances I’d rather not describe. This was one time I wasn’t going to allow him to poop in his pullup – it was going to be on the potty. I sat him on his potty (with Teddy beside him, on his own potty). I informed my little charge that he would be sitting until he did the deed. Five books, three marshmallows and one hour later, no progress had been made. By this point, I could tell he was holding it in…he kept telling me he needed to put his pullup back on (a sure sign he felt more comfortable pooping in a diaper than a potty) But no!! Today was the day we would conquer potty training; I pressed on corageously. But I did move the potty to the Kitchen so I could cook dinner while I watched him.
Caleb came downstairs and was craving a snack and some water. I provided him with the necessary sustenance. But when I turned around, I noticed to my horror that Jackson was no longer on his porcelain throne. Panicked, I raced around the house calling to him, knowing he had sought out a solitary corner to poop in. Please not the carpet, I thought. No; it was much worse than that. Yesterday, the boys had gone bananas in the toy closet and pulled everything out of it’s place and scattered it over the floor. It was on this canvas of scattered books and toys, nearly a foot deep, that he chose to ‘paint’ his poopy masterpiece. I was stunned…I didn’t know where to begin. I put Jackson on the ‘big’ potty in the bathroom and then systematically began wiping off every toy, book, etc. Then I smelled dinner burning; but not in time to keep the smoke detector from wailing. This woke Miriam up and she began screaming. Meanwhile, Jackson was about to fall in the potty and was crying…Caleb had broken at toy and was weeping. The good news is, it can’t get any worse! I thought. Then I looked up to see Coco sniffing at the poo…well, yes it can. So much for my awesome parenting! Glad nobody stopped by to see the mayhem. For those off you who don’t have children yet and are thinking ‘I’ll never let that happen to me!’ Just you wait…this is your future!!