When you're learning how to talk, not every word gets pronounced correctly. The result is a smattering of vocabulary that sounds like something only fit for an 'R' movie. For example, kids have difficulty pronouncing the letter 'r' at first. So try out a word like 'fork', without the 'r' and you have a swearing little sailor on your hands. The letter 'p' is also a challenge. But if you mispronounce the 'p' in 'ship'....my my, somebody needs their mouth washed out with soap! Pretty humiliating when your sweet child yells out one of these 'profanities' in public.
Here are some more things we've heard lately:
"H-E-B...that spells grocery store Mommy! I know all my letters!"
"Daddy's rough, but you're soft Mommy...that's why I like you best"
"Mommy, you're so sweet, I'm gonna marry you!" (So I explained that I was already married to Daddy)
"What?!!! You married MY Daddy?!!! You're being super silly Mommy!"
"If an alligator and a bear got in a fight, who would win?" (where does he come up with this stuff?)
"ummm...the bear?" I guess
"No, mommy, the alligator would win. If an alligator and a shark got in a fight, who would win?"
"Probably the shark" I say
"No, mommy! The alligator would win!" (oh, silly me...I thought the shark would have a chance, what with its 1200 teeth and being twice the size of the gator.)
"Aaaahhh!! Watch out! The noodles are coming! And they have teeth!" (we hear this a lot and it always makes me laugh...since when were noodles a threat??)
"Mommy, I don't like my Sunday school teacher."
"Why not honey?"
"Because she ties us all up with handcuffs"
"Do you remember that one time when a bad guy broke into our house, mommy?"
"Ummm...no, I don't remember that"
"He was gonna kill Giosue and Isaac. But I saved them, cause they are my friends. I shooted the bad guy and died him. I protected my friends!"
He came up to me today and kissed my growing belly. "I sure do love that baby", he said.